We had a good time.
Only a few people got hurt.
7 of them we never heard from.
Too much food (but that's a good thing)
Homemade ice cream, Strawberry layer cake, GAWD!
We had a ball. Many thanks to Charlie and Anna for putting up with everyone. :-)
I know exactly who these 3 people are in the song, but I just won't say it because it ties my stomach in knots. Sing, Gordon, Sing. 1970. Wow!
After Angela and I found our own separate apartments last year, I started to go downhill. I didn't like where I moved to (it was too small), I didn't like the parking lot (the spaces were too small), I didn't like the gates, the location, being upstairs, the smell, or the whole thought of being by the swimming pool. I just didn't like it. I felt so alone.
I never went out unless it was to work or an occasional group meeting. It pissed me off when I had to make 2 trips to the truck and up the stairs to bring in groceries that I'd bought too many of, and it chapped my ass to no end that there was only one exit from the complex, and I had to drive the entire length of the parking lot to get to it. I was a mess, I looked a mess (super overweight and super self-conscious) and I was spiraling downhill quickly.
I remember Martha trying to coerce me into getting a dog, but I wouldn't hear of it. Partly because I wasn't ready to get my heart broken again, and partly because I didn't want to have to climb the stairs when I had to take the dog outside. I cried and pounded my fists on the pillows because although I say I like change sometimes, I did not like this one at all. Martha would suggest I randomly put things down on a calendar to force myself to get out of the apartment. First was a simple trip to the store to get a Coke. Next it was something equally as simple. Little by little I was improving, but I was in a deep mess already. I was alone and isolating, afraid of going out, and up in my head.
The highlight of my week was spending Wednesday nights with Gavvie Doo. That is the only time that cheered me up - and I guess it made the other days more tolerable. I went on to get a dog named Maxx, and wouldn't you know it I had to carry him up and down the stairs every day for 2 weeks after his little surgery. The good thing is that now I am a pro at climbing my stairs. They are good stairs, kinda shallow steps - not like those steep kind. And I haven't minded one bit taking Maxx outdoors to whizz. But since December, we have always walked the same path. I would get petrified thinking about going on the main street where all the walkers were - I was so afraid I'd get out there and not be able to make it back, or someone would say something to me. So we walked a half mile around the apartment complex in the safety of the gated area. (That's the "long way".) Or if it was just a short trip we'd take the trail around the swimming pool area. It got very old.
More recently, I've begun to let him off his leash inside the swimming pool area long after dark. He'd run around and snoofle, and I'd kick back in one of the lounge chairs and meditate listening to the water fountain in the pool, looking up at the stars and moon. It is win/win.
On Jan. 1st I started eating healthier. I went all in on this deal and along with the healthy food, I was getting exercise with my dog and losing weight. The pounds came off quickly at first, and then stalled, but it gave me the boost I needed to do better.
Through the help and support of others, I have kept on walking, eating right (not 100%, trust me), and now I am down 30lbs. My goal is to lose 100lbs., so that's 25lbs. per quarter. Not bad, right? Well, it's pretty hard and if I can't eat less or better I figured I'd need to do more exercise which I detest but I'm doing it anyway.
The point is not the weight situation, but I wanted to let you know that a combination of my program of sobriety, eating healthy, exercising, and going to about 5 meetings a week has given me the mental ability to try and do better.
So tonight, I went out the apartment gate and on to the main road almost all the way to Preston's apartment and back - almost 2 miles! It's the first time I've been out of the "yard" in the 15 months that I've lived here. It has taken me 15 months to walk past the gate, and Maxx and I walked 1,08 miles! We even go to the Dog Park on most weekends where I actually converse with complete strangers. :-)
My Bestie from high school came to spend the weekend with me at the end of March, and we rode the light rail downtown. It was a lot of fun, but I got a ponytail headache and she got a headache from riding the train. Motion sickness. lol
It was a non-eventful adventure, but at least we did something! Saw some cool shit, too.
Which do you want to hear about?
Well, you get it. It was a freaking ADVENTURE and I needed it! We all did! :-)
Who doesn't remember classy Carly Simon? I enjoyed listening to her on the radio, but I never purchased any of her music. Back then, I just didn't like women vocalists all that much. But times have changed and I like women in general more than I used to.
This week I heard her song "Jesse" on a channel called "The Bridge" - but this time actually listened to the lyrics.
SAY WHAT? Are you kidding me? He treated you like crap and you're going to take him back? What kind of girl would do that? Have you no integrity? These questions run through my grown-up mind. The truth is, it could be me singing. My logical side has a cold heart and can take care of herself all alone, and my romantic side just wants to be with him again.
What the fuck happened to her anyway?
My face hurts from smiling so much today. We went to a Punkin' Patch in Flower Mound, TX and had ourselves a ball, and a hayride, and a carnival ride, and a bouncy house. Thank you, God.
